The Camping Trip
by This-Family-Affair
Summary: House and the team go camping to stregthen their team, but who will quit and who will stay? Moreover, who can survive living in a motorhome with House? Please R&R! ON HIATUS, RANDOM AND SPORATIC UPDATES!
1. We're Going Camping!

Well, I'm back! Wrote this before I even posted the rest of SIHTMO. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: None of the characters from House, M.D. are mine. Anyone you don't know is mine, and you are free to borrow them. They like cookies, so just lure them over to you with a huge plate of 'em. I also have never been to most of the places they're going to, so please don't attack me.

"No." House glared at Cuddy. The ducklings were staring at her. They were sitting in the conference room, Cameron in House's spot, House (grumpy because Cameron was in his spot), Chase, and Foreman just sitting around the table. Cuddy was standing in the doorway.

"Why not?" Cuddy couldn't figure out why he's say no, though she knew that he would.

"Twenty reasons. One, why would we want to? Two, there is no way in hell I'm traveling with you. Three, there's no way in hell I'm traveling with them." He gestured to his team. "Four, I have clinic duty to catch up on. Five, I have clinic duty to make them catch up on. Six, I don't do motor homes. Seven, I don't camp. Eight, I can't talk people into giving me Vicoden if we're traveling. Eight, my DS won't charge properly in a vehicle. Nine, there's no way we'd all managed to fit in any camper. Ten, I hate bugs. Eleven..." He tried to find a reason.

"It would be too much for him to even think about having to see Chase's hair all day long. Twelve, he wouldn't have his bed to sleep in. Thirteen, he wouldn't be able to pester the poor nurses all day long. Fourteen, it's pretty hard for me to make my coffee in a camper, and he would die without it. Fifteen, he wouldn't be able to watch General Hospital. Sixteen, he would have to actually clean instead of having Wilson come over and take care of everything. Seventeen, he wouldn't be able to just sit around his home and mope all night. Eighteen, he wouldn't be able to think up enough rude and snarky things to say about us when he's stuck with us all the time. Nineteen, he wouldn't be able to take his bike along. Twenty, he would have to eat what we cooked." Cameron finished for him. Everyone was staring at her. "What? It's true! But, he would be able to have pictures of Chase drooling... And the state of his hair before he takes the time to fix it..." Chase was glaring at her.

"Yeah? Well you snore!"

"Only when I have to sleep on a desk." House pondered what Cameron said.

"But why would we do that?" Foreman looked up at Cuddy. "What's the point?"

"This isn't my idea. I was informed that this team didn't work together well enough. It was either let two of you go, or go on a paid-camping trip. That means you will be paid your usual salary for just camping."

"We don't work together well enough?" Chase scoffed. "How can we not? We pretty much just do what House says. Save lives. Is there something wrong with that?"

Cuddy sighed. "I don't know. Again, the only choice of mine was to keep two of you."

"But why do you have to come along?" Foreman asked.

"Because I'm supposed to 'monitor and examine the behaviors of the team and make sure that they are bonding and/or improving.' Not my idea."

"How long will we be camping? Will we be in tents or campers? Where are we going?" Cameron had pulled a pen and paper out of nowhere.

"I think we will be gone for two weeks. We will be in one motor home. I'm not quite sure where we're going, but it will be some remote place."

"Fine. I'm in. But I am bringing my laptop." Cameron stated. Everyone turned to look at her.

"I'll go." Chase added quickly. House glared at him.

"Fine. I'll go. But I have my own bed." House said, shocking everyone else.

"Well, I guess that leaves me. I'm in." Foreman sighed. _Two weeks trapped in a motor home with House? Fun._

"Okay then." Cuddy was surprised at the fact that everyone had agreed to go, and without too many sarcastic comments from House. "We leave on Friday. You have three days. Be here seven A.M., sharp." She turned on her heel and left. You could hear the soft clicking of her heels down the hallway. House quietly grumbled something about going to do something and Foreman claimed to have clinic duty to do. That left Chase and Cameron in the conference room.

"It's Tuesday." Chase said, looking at Cameron, who had now managed to find the crossword puzzle and had put her reading glasses on.

"That it is." She filled in one of the words.

"I still like you."

"I still know." Chase stood up and left the room, knowing that he wouldn't get any more out of her. House stuck his head into the conference room.

'It's Tuesday." House called out from his office. Cameron looked up, half smiling.

"What, you like me too?"

"No, silly! _You_ like _me_." He said it like it was the plainest thing in the world. "It's your turn to do my clinic duty." Cameron smiled.

"Want me to make some more coffee first?"

"Duh!" She stood up and started a fresh pot of coffee. House observed the way her shirt and pants fit, and then quickly realized what he was doing and looked away.

"Should I wear your jacket, too, or just go like this?"

"Well, considering one guy shot me, I think I'll let you be me for a while. Just don't mess up daddy's coat." Cameron picked up his coat from the couch before walking out of the room. She bumped into Chase, who was standing right outside the door.

"Oh, hey. Sorry about that." Cameron apologized.

"No problem." He noticed the coat in her hands. "Why are you holding House's coat?"

"Tuesday. Day when he makes me do clinic. Though he has me do it on other days, too." She shrugged. "He has me take his coat so if I mess up or something they come in and shoot me, not him. There's fresh coffee inside if you want any." She walked off to work on House's clinic duty, leaving Chase alone in the hallway.


	2. Come to the Dark Side, We Have Cookies

**I'm back! I had another version of this chappie written, but it's on a computer I no longer have access to, so this isn't what I originally wanted… But it's up! Thanks for the lovely feedback! You guys are better than a nice cup of Starbuck's in the morning (and I love my Starbuck's)! And I think Foreman's married, at least he was, but then he was dating the one girl, so in here he's married. Capesche? And the camper thing near the end is more just filler. I like to have all chapters be over 1000 words. And when we hit the one-hundred reviews mark, I can guarantee a very long chapter, so review please!**

**Disclaimer: I do own the shirt and my grandparents own a 30-ft version of the camper. House ain't mine, sadly.**

**Chapter Two:**

**Come to the dark side, we have cookies.**

Friday:

Chase was looking at Cameron. Instead of her usual professional attire, she wore worn out jeans and a tight-fitting t-shirt that simply said "Come to the dark side, we have cookies." in big white letters on a black base. Her hair was loosely tied back, parts of it framing her face. She had three bags, one clothes, one food and snacks, the other her laptop. She had minimal CDs with her, as all were copied onto her computer almost the moment she got them, but she still brought some along for the ride there. Chase had a separate bag just for his CDs. She was sitting behind the desk, twirling around on the chair. She and Chase were the only ones there, but it was 6:35. Cameron had her music playing, and was lip-syncing Joss Stone's "Put Your Hands on Me, Baby" when House came in. He looked at her for a moment, before seeing Chase also looking at her. She completed a turn and opened her eyes. She quickly turned her music off.

"You're here early." She said as House plopped his two bags on the floor.

"And didn't your mom ever teach you that lip-syncing could get you in big trouble? Just ask Ashlee Simpson." House sat down in one of the chairs.

"And didn't yours ever tell you that getting addicted to painkillers can get you into a lot of trouble?" Cameron shot back at him.

"I am in pain! Mostly because I have to watch you lip-sync."

"Well go have some coffee then. It's fresh."

"Ah, that's why I hired you! So you can get me some coffee." Cameron rolled her eyes but stood up, grabbed his usual red coffee cup, poured him some, and handed it to him.

"Nice shirt." House added as she sat down.

"Figured you'd like it. Being as it mentions cookies and the dark side." Chase had been watching their whole conversation, and was a little angry at how well Cameron and House got along.

"If it mentioned coffee I'd love it."

"I know."

oXo

Right around seven both Foreman and Cuddy had arrived. For telling everyone to be there at seven A.M. sharp, Cuddy had been five minutes late. She had excused her lateness by saying that there were issues with the motor home. They had only been able to get one that fit five, and that was when they shared beds.

"It's a Tiffen Allegro, 32 feet. One of us will get our own bed, but that one will have to fit into a small bed." Cuddy explained.

"So how to we figure out who has to share with who?" Foreman asked, scared of having to sleep with House.

"Well, we could draw names. The one who isn't drawn could get to sleep alone." Chase suggested. "The people who are okay with sharing could draw the names." Everyone except House nodded.

"I'm not drawing."

"That's fine, your name will still be in there." Cameron noted, writing the names on a slip of paper. She folded them a couple of times and ripped them apart. She found a decorative bowl and put them in. "You can hold it, then." She handed it to House, who, somewhat begrudgingly, held it. Cameron drew a name, and then Cuddy. Their names had been left out of the bowl, for they both had nothing against sharing a bed, while the guys just waited to see if they would have to share.

"Well, I got Chase." Cuddy looked at her paper. Chase's face fell slightly, as he had wanted Cameron.

Cameron chuckled. "Just my luck. I drew House. Guess you get to stay by yourself, Foreman." He smiled.

"We call the actual bed." House quickly added. Everyone looked at him, puzzled. They all thought he'd put up a fight. He looked at Cameron. "But if you snore or like to snuggle-"

"The same goes for you." Cameron stated simply.

"Well, I guess we get the couch." Cuddy looked at Chase.

"Ah, the sweet emptiness of my bed…" At that, everyone glared at Foreman. He just grinned.

"You only got to be alone because you're married." Chase mumbled.

"Well, should we go see the thing?" Cuddy suggested.

"Let's go." Foreman started walking out, Cuddy following closely. Cameron packed up her music before picking up her bags.

"Do you want me to take one of your bags?" Chase asked, watching as she slid one over her shoulder.

"Thanks, but I think I got it." She smiled at him.

"Well, then you can take one of mine." House tossed Chase one of his bags. Chase caught it, but not without stumbling backwards. House brushed past him quickly, saying: "You should only offer to help when she's the only one in the room." Cameron just shrugged.

"Well, let's go." She walked out, leaving Chase to follow.

oXo

"You expect us to stay in _that_?" House stared at the motor home. It was large, but it didn't appear to be meant to fit five grown people.

"I don't. But that's the biggest we could get." Cuddy took a few steps forward, unlocked the door, and waited for the steps to unfold. She stepped in, the rest of the team following.

The motor home wasn't large on the inside, though the slides were in. There was only about a foot of space between the kitchenette/booth and the couch. At the very front there were two large, plush chairs, one driver, one passenger. The couch, though it was small, seated three. The walls were covered with a brown/gray sponge-textured wallpaper. There were two small windows opposite each other, one above the booth, one above the couch. The windshield was huge, taking up the whole front. There were windows on the both sides of it, ending right before the booth, which is where the slide began, and right before the couch. There were two large tan curtains that you could pull over to cover up the windshield beside each chair. Above the kitchenette, booth, and couch were cabinets. There was a small oven, and an even smaller countertop. The microwave, at least, was full-size. There was also a tiny fridge and freezer on the opposite side of the small walkway. Next to the fridge was the small shower, and across from that the door leading to the also small bathroom. Next to the bathroom and the shower was the master bedroom, the room where House and Cameron would be sleeping. The bed was no bigger than a queen, but there was a good-sized TV facing the bed, and a window above the headrest. There was a small closet, no more than two feet deep against the outside wall, with cabinets above it, going right to the wall separating the bathroom from the bedroom. Against that wall were the small drawers and counter-top vanity. The room was tiny, and you couldn't open a single drawer, but when you had the slides out it was much larger.

"Shotgun." Foreman quickly called out. He had been observing everything going on between House, Cameron, and Chase, and wanted them to all have to sit on the couch together. He set his bags beneath the booth, as Cuddy and Chase, while House put his stuff in the bedroom, along with Cameron. Chase had sat down on one end of the couch, and House sat on the other, forcing Cameron to sit between them, as Cuddy was driving. Cameron sat down, buckled up, and opened up her laptop.

"Where are we going, anyway?" Foreman asked.

"I don't know," Cuddy said sitting down, "it wasn't my choice. I just have directions." She started the car and began her attempt to get the thing out of the parking lot. Cameron plugged her earbuds in and started her music. This way she could block out the two men she was stuck sitting by. She grabbed a piece of licorice she had near her and started munching on it, thinking about all the things that could –and would- go wrong on the trip.

oXo

**So, there's another one. Pretty long, for chapter two.**

**Well, again, you owe Damien Rice some thanks for the chapter. **

**His music is very soothing.**

**R&R please!**


	3. Oh the Fun We'll Have in a Parking Lot

**Okay, saz86, here's another one. Again, thanks for the ideas. You rock. Have a good time on your trip!**

**There are some naughty-ish parts coming up, but really, when isn't truth-or-dare? So I upped the rating, just incase (this will work for other chappies, too).**

**Happy birthday, ****Mezzo Princess! Hope it's fun! This is for saz86 and Mezzo Princess, so enjoy you two!**

**Chapter Three**

**Oh the fun we'll have in a parking lot!**

After driving for about ten hours the group finally stopped at a WalMart parking lot. They had stopped occasionally to have lunch, get gas, take a bathroom break, and buy snacks. Cameron had eventually fallen asleep, head resting on House's shoulder. It was now very dark out.

"Cameron… Wake up." Chase was trying to get her to wake up. House had also fallen asleep, head resting against hers. He sighed. "She's not waking up." He looked at Cuddy and Foreman, who were relaxing on the booth.

"Try House." Foreman suggested. Chase leaned over and poked House. He didn't move.

"I have an idea." Cuddy stood up and reached into one of House's jacket pockets. She pulled out his Vicoden, and he woke up, moving so fast that Cameron woke up.

House blinked a couple of times. "You took my Vicoden." He looked accusingly at Cuddy.

"And you woke me up." Cameron yawned, glaring at House.

"You fell asleep on me." He looked her straight in the eye.

"Because you sat next to me."

"So did Chase."

"Your shoulder is higher."

"I'm taller."

"Hence the higher shoulder."

"Uh, guys?" Foreman interrupted. They both looked at him.

"What?" Cameron asked.

"We should probably set up camp. Get ready for bed and all."

"Go to bed, early? When we're camping? Did you never go camping when you were a kid?" House started at Foreman. Cameron was also wondering how anyone could want to get to bed early.

"Why are you both looking at me like that? And no, we never went camping."

"Beer. We need beer." House simply stated. Cameron stood up and made her way to the fridge. She pulled out five bottles.

"We have chairs, right?" House asked. Cuddy nodded.

"They're outside, but-"

"Perfect. Let's go." House stood up and walked outside. Cameron followed. Everyone else stared at the door for a moment before going out. House had pulled five lawn chairs out from a storage space and set them in a circle. Cameron had found some lights and set them up. There were some cars left in the parking lot, but otherwise it was deserted.

"And what are we doing?" Chase asked Cameron.

"I don't know. Just thought beer was a good idea. Gonna need some to survive the next two weeks." She smiled as she handed him one. Foreman and Cuddy also picked up theirs. Soon they were all seated in the circle, waiting.

"What are we doing out here?" Cuddy asked.

"Besides inhaling the nice, clean, scent of gas and parking lots? Playing truth-or-dare." He waggled an eyebrow. Cuddy groaned.

"Fine. I'll start." Cameron looked Cuddy straight in the eye. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth." Cuddy was afraid that she'd end up having to do something that she'd rather not, and after lots of round of truth-or-dare in the past she knew that truth was the safest.

Cameron grinned. "What's the most disgusting thing you've ever done?"

"Hmm… This is hard…" Cuddy thought for a moment. "Well, let's see… When I was younger, much younger, I ate a grasshopper. My cousin told me to, and I was five. She was eleven. I admired her." Cuddy shrugged.

"Nice. You're turn." Cameron smiled.

"Okay, House." He raised an eyebrow.

"Truth."

"Who would you rather sleep with, me or Cameron?" Cameron glared at her.

House looked playfully at Cameron. "Cameron."

"You know, we better all get drunk enough to forget all of this." Cameron said, glad that the darkness could cover up her blush. Everyone chuckled at that, though Chase was still a little off about House's comment. He took another swig of his beer.

"My turn…" House looked over the group surrounding him. "Foreman."

"Dare."

"Well… I would make this really naughty…" He waggled his eyebrows. "But, I'll just make you walk into WalMart and yell 'I swear to drunk I'm not God!'"

"Fine. But what happens here stays between us." He stood up and everyone followed him. The WalMart was small, and the only people there were a few extremely bored cashiers.

Foreman strode in to the store, and yelled: "I swear to drunk I'm not God!" and stretching his hands out to the sky, leaving the poor cashiers staring but smiling. He bowed, and strode right back out, seeing the rest of the group trying not to fall to the ground laughing.

"Nice one." House complimented Foreman as they tried to get back to the chairs.

"Thanks." They all sat down. "Now, Chase. Truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Why Tuesday?" Chase acted like he had no idea what Foreman was talking about. "Tuesday? You confess that you like-"

"Just picked Tuesday." He shrugged. "My turn… Cameron."

"Why is everything always about me? Dare. But _nothing_ naughty." She glared at him.

"Hey, that's House, not me!" He said defensively. "But, you and Cuddy switch clothes." Cameron continued glaring at him. Cuddy was, as usual, wearing a very low-cut shirt.

"Fine, but I keep my panties." Cuddy sighed. They both stood up to go change in the motor home. Cameron emerged a few moments later, wearing Cuddy's _very_ see-through white shirt, but Cuddy had been wearing a white bra, unlike Cameron's hot pink one, so it wasn't very noticeable. She sat down, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You are disgusting." She glared at Chase, who was now more than a little embarrassed at what she was wearing. Cuddy emerged a moment later, smiling.

"I really need to start dressing more like you… This is comfy."

"You know, I think we should probably head to bed before this gets any… worse." Foreman stated.

"I agree." Cameron stood up. She walked back into the motor home, pressing the button for the slide in the bedroom to move out. After it slid out, she rummaged through her bag to find her pj's, which were a pair of blue striped drawstring pants and a tank top. She went to the bathroom to get changed, Chase following closely.

"Hey, I'm sorry about tonight-" He said as she walked out.

"Chase, I don't feel that way about you. That's not going to change. I'm sorry." She avoided his eyes, slipping past him to the bedroom. She slipped into the cool bed, and not ten minutes later House joined her.

"Do you always wear that bra?" He grinned as she groaned and pulled a pillow over her head. "Are there have matching panties?"

"House!"

**oXo**

**So, there it is. What do you think? Feedback is loved.**

**I need some good things for them to do **

**(I already have them going to an amusement park…), **

**so if you have any either PM me or add them in your review.**

**R&R please!**


	4. The KoolAid Incident

**Okay, I got the some of the best ideas ever to add to this… And you know who you are. I really was planning on writing more tomorrow, but I _had_ to do this. And I think I'll just have them at some made-up campground in a made-up town, as I prefer writing and making stuff up than researching and hoping I'm right. Plus, this makes the updates go faster. And poor Chase, I haven't been very nice to him lately…**

**Chapter Four**

**The Kool-Aid Incident**

"Cameron." House poked the sleeping female. "Wake up." The sun was barely over the horizon, and for Cameron, that was too early to wake up.

"What?" She mumbled, head still under the pillow.

"I need your help."

"I am not writing you a prescription for Vicoden."

"That's not it."

"Then what is? Can't you tell I'm trying to sleep?'

"Well it is morning. And you need to find the Kool-Aid." Cameron rolled over, now facing him, and removed the pillow from her head.

"What?"

"The Kool-Aid. You need to find it."

"Find what Kool-Aid? What's going on?"

House sighed. "There's Kool-Aid somewhere in here. You need to find it."

"Why me?"

"Because you're thinner."

Cameron rolled her eyes. "And why do we need the Kool-Aid?"

"To put in the shower." Suddenly it clicked for Cameron.

"Fine. I'll be right back. But don't you dare take my spot." She slipped out of bed and was quickly in the kitchenette. The soft sound of Chase's snoring could be heard. Cameron grinned and quickly went back into the bedroom.

"You found it already?" House was sitting up in the bed.

"No, but I need my camera." She opened up one of her bags. She dug around in it for a moment before pulling out a small camera. She quickly went back to the main room and snapped a picture of Chase, and her camera had the picture-with-sound feature, so she now had recorded Chase snoring, to be used for blackmail later on. She turned her camera off and began looking for the Kool-Aid. She found a color changing one and went back to the bedroom.

"Here." She tossed him the packet. "_You_ can put it in the shower." She slid back into the bed. He poked her.

"No I can't. You are much quieter than me. You do it. It would wreck the whole thing if I did it."

Cameron sighed. "Fine. But I'm blaming you." She took the packet from his outstretched hand and quietly walked into the shower. She unscrewed the top, and found what she was looking for. The showerhead was hollow, and she swiftly poured the Kool-Aid in, making sure that it didn't spill out. Carefully, she reattached it, and walked back to the bedroom.

"There. It's done. But next time, you're doing it." She was acting like she hated it, but she really hoped that it worked. House grinned, knowing what her real feelings about the pranks were. _The other three won't know what's coming. _

oXo

House and Cameron were doing everything possible to not burst out laughing when Chase yelled. They were still in the bed, but Chase had made the dumb move of taking a shower bright and early. The Kool-Aid, which turned red when reacting to water, had definitely shocked him. He thought it was blood. Cuddy and Foreman both quickly stood up and rushed over, and Cameron had to do the same, otherwise they would know the truth.

"Chase! Are you okay?" Cameron was the first to say anything.

"Hand me a towel!" The shower turned off and Cameron tossed a towel over the door. He wrapped it around his waist and opened the door. Cameron bit her tongue –hard- to keep from laughing. His hair was pure red. House came out of the bedroom, Cameron's camera ready, and snapped a photo. Chase's eyes were wide.

"You did this!" Chase glared at House. Cuddy and Foreman stared at him.

"Yep." House grinned.

"Why?!"

"I was really hoping that it would be Cuddy, but this is just as good." He shrugged.

"Well, at least you smell nice." Cameron noted. He did smell like cherries.

"Does anyone know how to get the stuff out of the shower?" Chase exclaimed. The last 24 hours had not been going well.

"Here…" Cameron stepped into the shower and unscrewed the showerhead. She walked over to the kitchenette and rinsed it out. She walked back to the shower and screwed it back on.

"How did you know to do that?" Chase looked at her.

"I've pulled some pranks in my lifetime. We always did this at camp. You should be fine now. Though it may take a while for the red to come out." She turned around and took her camera from House's grip. "Now I'm going to try and get some sleep. She looked directly at House.

"I didn't know that your own snoring could keep you up." He shot back.

"Your snoring can."

oXo

Finally the group was ready to depart from WalMart. Chase was no very glad that Cameron was sitting between him and House. The red streaks in his hair didn't look all that bad. Cameron had typed this all down. She knew that it would be worth it.

"We'll be there in about two hours." Cuddy called out, hoping that the two men surrounding Cameron wouldn't kill each other first. She turned the vehicle on and they pulled out of the parking lot.

oXo

They had arrived at the deserted campground. Deserted was the best word to describe it. There was a small shack that was the office, and lots of spaces for campers, but they were all empty. There was a huge, murky lake off towards the back. Cuddy got their spot, drove over, and attempted to get everything hooked up. Two hours of intense heat later, they all sat down inside the air-conditioned motor home.

"It's so hot out there…" Foreman complained. It was about 100 degrees Fahrenheit out there.

"There's a lake, right?" Cameron asked. Cuddy nodded. "Are we allowed to go in it?" She nodded again. Cameron's face lit up as she walked to the bedroom to get changed. Everyone stared at door (that they had just discovered) to the bedroom. Moments later she emerged, hair tied back, wearing a black and gray bikini. She grabbed a towel and headed to the lake, the rest of the group now eager to change. When the rest of them arrived they found Cameron's bikini and towel lying beneath a tree, and a now very nude Cameron grinning in the lake.

"Come on in, the water's great!"

**oXo**

**So, how was it? Like the semi-cliffie? **

**Reviews make me type faster...**


	5. Possessed Squirrels and Sleeping,,,

******Chase, I love you, I really do, but sometimes, I just can't resist you being at the end of my (and Mezzo Princess's) worst pranks. **

**All pranks (and the end of this chapter) courtesy of Mezzo Princess, my new beta.**

**Chapter Five**

**Possessed squirrels and sleeping in the rain**

"Why did you have to take my shirt?" They were back at the campground, about two hours later. House was trying to figure out what was so interesting about his tee-shirt, for when they had all agreed to get out to get some food, Cameron had immediately donned it.

"It was the closest thing to the water." She replied, brushing out her hair. She had been the first to shower, and now was trying to untangle the mass of curls.

"But-"

"If you hadn't decided to set it right on the end of the dock I wouldn't have taken it."

"But-"

"You should be glad because had I not taken your shirt you would have actually had to get out of the water to find the rest of your clothes." It was true. After Cameron had put on his shirt she had gone around and brought the rest of the clothes to the group. She had then changed back into her clothes.

"But-"

"So where are we going for supper? I'm hungry." Foreman sat down on the end of one of the booth seats. Cameron was sitting on the other, and House was on the couch.

House decided to give up on his argument with Cameron. "We have to wait for the other two to get out of the shower."

"Or…"

Cameron grinned wickedly.

oXo

"Since when are you the evil plotter?" Foreman asked as they were seated. While the other two had been getting ready they had written them a note, called a cab, and gone to a diner. They were seated at a corner booth.

"I've always been like this. Just ask my brother. And some ex-boyfriends." Cameron shrugged.

"Not at the hospital."

"We're not at the hospital, now are we?" Cameron opened up the menu. Chase and House did the same, both a little shocked at how different Cameron was when she was out of the workplace.

oXo

"How many restaurants are in this town?" Cuddy asked the cab driver. They had read the note, called a cab, and now hoped that there weren't too many places to eat in this sad excuse for a settlement.

He chuckled. "Darlin', there's only one." He had a heavy Southern accent.

"Oh. Well, can you take us there, please?"

"Sure thang." The rickety cab started moving. Within three minutes they were there. The diner was definitely a casual place. There were about five other cars parked there. Almost everyone lived within walking distance, and almost everyone ate all their meals there. Cuddy paid the cab driver and Chase got out of the car, Cuddy close behind. They walked into the diner.

"Hi!" A young redhead greeted them as they walked in. Her nametag revealed that her name was Keira. "Are you-" she looked down at a sheet of paper "Cuddly and Wonder-Boy?" She asked seriously.

"Um…"

"Right this way, then." She walked off to the corner booth. When they came in view they heard House call out to them.

"Well, if it isn't Cuddly and Wonder-Boy!" They both glared at him as they sat down. Keira winked at Cameron, who grinned back. They had this all planned out.

"Hey guys! What took you so long?" Cameron asked as they sat down.

Chase opened his mouth to answer, but decided to skip it. He reached for a cheese curd sitting on a plate, only to have his hand slapped by House.

"Mine." He sad it, as usual, like a four-year-old. Chase retreated his hand.

"You should probably look at your menus. The waitresses don't like to have to wait very long." Cameron stated. Sure enough, Keira reappeared.

"Are you all ready to order?" Cuddy noticed that she didn't have a strong Southern accent.

"I think so." Chase said.

oXo

"Hand me that ketchup packet!" Cameron whispered. House had left the table to head to the bathroom. Foreman just stared at her. "Just hand it to me!" He slid it down the table. She quickly took the plastic top off of House's cup, tore open the ketchup packet just a little, stuck the straw into the ketchup, and replaced the lid. Everyone was looking at her.

"Never thought you'd turn against him." Chase scoffed.

"Why not? None of you are safe." She took a sip of her drink. She had purposely gotten water, which came in a clear, lidless cup. Moments later House arrived, and immediately took a sip of his drink. Cameron whipped out her camera, took a picture of his face, and grinned.

"What did you do that for?" House glared at her, the taste of ketchup strong in his mouth.

"Why do you think I did it?"

"Because you're the only one who would dare to do it. And you're acting all innocent. You did it. And be afraid, you have to sleep with me."

oXo

"Why is there a car here?" Cameron asked. She stared at the pink VW Beetle parked by the camper. Foreman thanked the cab driver and turned his attention to the car.

House noticed a head of tousled brown hair, and walked over to the window. He saw that it was Wilson, fast asleep. He quietly checked to see if the car was locked before banging raucously on the window. Wilson immediately woke up and attempted to figure out what was going on. He sighed when he saw House attacking his window. He rolled slowly down the window.

"What?" He sighed tiredly.

"I believe I can ask you the same thing, Jimmy boy."

"You had all just left. I talked to some people, got directions, and I'm here."

"But why?"

"Because I wanted to know what's going on! Really, you, your team, and Cuddy all going on a two-week trip? Something had to be up."

"You staying the night, then?"

"I was planning on it." House just grinned. Wilson would have to sleep with Foreman. He noticed the sleeping bag in the back of the car.

"Bring your sleeping bag in." House walked back to the camper.

oXo

"No. I'm not sleeping with Foreman. Not on that bed." Wilson stated. They were all sitting inside, trying to find a place for Wilson to sleep. They had already been over the reason why they were all there.

"We don't have a tent, and there's hardly enough room on the floor." Cameron noted.

"I'll sleep in my car." Wilson stood up to put his bag in the car. He returned a few minutes later.

"I locked my keys inside the car." He fumed. "I guess…. There's a spot under a tree where I'll sleep. Good night." The taxing twelve hour drive had left his temper a little worse for wear. He walked out, shutting the door behind him.

"I wonder how long he's going to make it out there." Chase pondered.

oXo

"What happened to you?" Cameron inquired, pot of coffee in hand. It was around seven the next morning, and Wilson had just stormed into the camper. His hair was a mess, he had scratches all over him, and he was soaking wet. Cameron stared at him.

"Well, I think I was laying on a squirrel's stash of nuts, because it attacked me this morning, and then it stormed last night." He sighed, exhausted.

"Here." Cameron walked back to the bathroom and returned a moment later holding towels. "Shower's right there. Get yourself cleaned up." He nodded, and a few moments later the sound of water running was heard.

_Well, I guess he won't be staying another night. _Cameron thought as she poured herself a cup of steaming coffee.

**oXo**

**So, we've ended another chapter.**

**Thanks so much Mezzo Princess for beating this and helping me with ideas**!

**R&R please!**


	6. Author's Note

Okay, here's the big news.

One of my best friends is going to a foster home. It's hard for all of us, and I have to put this story on a hiatus (and I may have to cancel in the end). She needs me. I don't know if she'll stay in town, I don't even know if she's staying in the state (she has been offered a trip to Maryland). I'm very sorry.

**For those who I'm betaing, I will still help you out, I just do not have the inspiration to write a fun, fluffy fic right now.**

Thanks for the support,

-TFA/B


	7. Bunnies and Breaking into Cars

**Hey guys! I was trapped in a car for over three hours with two really fun guys and that made me feel a little better, even though they attacked me with clowns (only ask if you want a really long story) (and yes, they inspired me to write some of the parts coming up) (the clowns, not the guys) (well, the guys did too). Thanks for the support… I've decided to not cancel the story and continue to write the two weeks of their trip! Enjoy!**

**Lots of thanks to Mezzo Princess, my wonderful beta. Thanks for being patient!**

_Bunnies. _They were everywhere. Staring at him. Miles and miles of bunnies. Fluffy ones, black ones, red-eyed ones, purple ones, just lots of bunnies. He was trapped. He couldn't move without stepping on one of them. He poked one with his cane, hoping it would hop away. It sat there, staring up at him. He poked it harder. It didn't even blink. Suddenly, they all morphed into his red coffee cup. He picked one up, and could smell the rich aroma. He tried to take a sip, but it wouldn't come out. He threw the cup at another cup, but it bounced right back at his head…

oXo

House woke up to the smell of coffee, the room full of steam, and puzzled about his dream. _Bunnies turning into coffee cups…_ Wilson, not knowing there was another door, had closed off the bathroom/shower from the main living room, causing all the steam to go to the master bedroom. He grabbed a t-shirt, and pulling it over his head he reached for his cane and walked out of the bedroom, sliding open the door and allowing himself to take a breath of fresh air. Cameron was sitting in the driver's seat (as all the other seating areas were currently beds) and watching the sun come up while sipping her coffee. He limped over and poured himself a cup before sitting on the passenger seat.

"Why is Wilson in the shower?" House asked, looking over at her.

"He was attacked by a squirrel and it rained."

House chuckled. "Foreman should break into the car for him."

"I should do what?" Foreman was sitting up on his bed.

Cameron turned around to face him. "Break into Wilson's car for him. House's idea." Foreman shook his head as he stretched and got a cup of coffee. "Though I could always do it… I don't know… It's been a few years."

"You've broken into a car?" Now Chase was awake, hair sticking up pretty straight.

Cameron chuckled at his appearance. His shirt was wrinkled, boxers twisted around, and hair sticking up at odd angles. "Yeah, I have. Had to make my step-mom mad somehow. It worked." She grinned. "I can hotwire them too."

"You're just as bad as Foreman!" House exclaimed. He would have never known that she could break into a car, much less hotwire it.

"I can pick locks too." Everyone just stared at her. They never suspected she was really like this. She shrugged. "Strange childhood, but I learned a lot."

Now Cuddy was awake. "What?" She blinked a couple of times and yawned.

"Cameron can break into and hotwire a car, and pick locks." Chase filled her in.

"Always knew there was more to her." Cuddy said as she got her coffee and sat back down on the bed. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Cameron, being the most awake and dressed, stood up and answered it. She found Keira, the waitress from last night, standing there.

"Hi!" She was very awake for it being so early. Her red hair was pulled smartly back in a bun and she had her bangs almost covering her eyes. She was wearing a pair of worn-out capris and a gray tank top. "Did I wake you up?"

"No, we've been up for a little while. Come on in. Everyone's dressed, just try not to stare at Chase's hair." Cameron smiled as she walked back in, resumed her previous spot and spun the chair around so she was facing everyone else. Keira followed, deciding to lean against the wall.

"I was just wondering, as ya'll are new to town, if you'd like a tour. It's not big, but we've got some nice places." Keira had made the mistake of looking at Chase's hair and was now focusing instead on House.

"That sounds fun." Chase replied. Foreman and Cuddy nodded their agreement.

"Fine with me. Though I'll need to get dressed first." Cameron added.

"What about Wilson?" Everyone turned to stare at House.

"You care about Wilson?" Foreman raised an eyebrow.

"I just don't want him to get into my stuff. Private things there." Cameron grinned, and he glared at her.

"Like what?" Even though he was trying to kill her with his glare, she was still grinning.

"What about me?" Wilson had emerged from the shower, had a towel wrapped around his waist. He had heard his name. No one had heard the shower turn off, or the door slide back open.

"We were just talking about how cute you are when you're asleep, snoring and sucking your thumb." House was surprised to see his friend blush. "You really do!" He was grinning now.

"Wait… You mean you just made that up?" Wilson's eyes were wide.

"Until you blushed, which means you know you do it!" House was beaming. Everyone else, even Keira, was laughing.

"I'm going to go get dressed." Wilson walked out of the camper. Everyone just waited for a minute before he came back in.

"Is it still locked?" Cameron asked innocently. "But I thought cars just unlocked when you asked really nicely."

Foreman stood up. "Come on. I'll do it." He walked out the camper, Cameron close behind.

"I'll race you!" The rest of the group heard Cameron's words as the followed out. They found Wilson staring at the two people arguing.

"I can too pick locks!"

"No, you can't. Let me do it."

"Yes I can. And I can do it faster and cleaner."

"Cleaner?"

"Mm-hmm. I don't need a crowbar." She gestured to the crowbar that had appeared in Foreman's hand.

"Really? Fine then. You take passenger."

"No way! If you screw up the driver's door it's worse then messing up the passenger's."

"Fine. You take driver." Cameron grinned as she made her way over to Wilson's car. She knelt down, pulled something out of her pocket, and began her work. Foreman went over to the other side, tried to wedge the crowbar in the door when Cameron stood up, grinning. He looked over at her, and she opened the door.

"Ha! How's that coming?" Foreman just glared back at her. He walked back around the car and didn't miss Cameron's "Never underestimate my powers." Wilson grinned as he leant into the car, but had totally forgotten he had a towel around his waist. It fell off, and everyone turned back to the camper, chuckling. Keira was amazed at this wacky group of tourists.

"Wilson?" Cuddy asked, still not turning around.

"What?"

"Put your pants on." Even though none of them were looking, they could all tell he was blushing.

"I think I'll go change now…" Wilson had wrapped the towel back around his waist and walked into the camper. Keira just looked at the group of laughing people.

"And you guys are related? I don't know if I'd be able to handle holidays with ya'll." Keira's eyes were wide.

"Related? Hardly." This made the rest of them laughing more. "We just work together." Cameron was grinning at the fact that the girl thought that they were a family.

"Oh… I definitely wouldn't be able to work with ya'll."

"Don't worry. Give them coffee and they're not that bad."

**R&R please! (Delays very probable)**


	8. Before the Attack of the Clowns

**For those of you who are clown-phobic, be warned. And be afraid of what happens on our youth-group trips… Oh, and I have another fic in the works, so look for it right around the time House comes back on! (And they're only stopping it once, and there will be a special Super Bowl one, AND they're saying that reruns don't "work" (duh) so we may only have a tiny bit of reruns!!!) And thank you guys soo much for reviewing!!! You guys always make me feel better. Really. Ooh, and there are some season four spoilors at the bottom...  
**

**Continued thanks to my wonderful beta, Mezzo Princess (though she didn't have a chance to beta this as I wanted to get it up soon, fearing that I wouldn't be able to access a computer for a while). Ideas/pranks/stuff used in this chapter are thanks to Keenan, Micah, Tanner, Frankie, and Miller Anne, though I doubt they're reading this.**

**Chapter Eight**

**Before the Attack of the Clowns**

Keira and Cameron had instantly bonded while waiting for everyone else to get ready. Wilson had decided to leave immediately after getting dressed. Now they were all walking –much to House's detest- along the main street of the little town.

"And this is my favorite store. The thrift store." Keira grinned as she stood in front of a worn out building.

"What's so great about it?" Chase quipped from behind her.

"You 're gonna have to come in to find out." Keira strode into the store, the rest following. You could immediately smell coffee, and they noticed that there was a little coffee shop inside. Cameron started walking down one of the isles, looking at some of the old books. Keira had gone off to find the owner. House noticed something on one of the shelves on the other side of where Cameron was looking. Grinning, he walked over and picked up the object he had been looking at. He peered over the top of the isle to make sure she wasn't watching before taking the object to the cash register and purchasing it. He grinned as the lady put it in the bag and handed it to him. Suddenly Chase screamed.

"Ralph! Down." Keira commanded. The dog that had been licking Chase dropped back to all fours. Chase glared at the dog who was now happily looking between Keira and himself. Keira smiled at Chase. "Sorry. Ralphie here gets pretty excited when he gets to meet new people." Ralph got bored with Chase and now went over to examine Cameron. She grinned as she pet him. He licked her face playfully.

"But he's calm around her!" Chase exclaimed.

"Dogs can sense your feelings, Bob." Chase winced at the nickname she called him. She was dead set on calling him Bob, for reasons unknown. "And he loves the ladies." Ralph barked as if in agreement.

"Well, I'll be darned! We have some tourists! Been a long time since we've seen anyone of your type. Last one to tourist here was Anabelle here, and she decided to stay. Ya'll thinking of staying?" A middle-aged round woman had emerged from somewhere in the back of the shop. She was grinning at them, and everyone was now looking at Keira.

"Anabelle?" Chase asked, grinning. He could get her back for calling him Bob now.

"Yeah, that's my 'real' name. Keira's my middle name. Haven't taken the time to get it legally changed yet." Keira explained.

"Alright, Belle." Keira glared at Chase.

"So what are ya'll doing in a town like this?" The woman directed their attention back to herself.

"'Team bonding.'" House scoffed.

The woman chuckled. "Ya'll are _bonding_ out here in the boondocks?"

"We're supposed to be. Though House insists on pranking everyone, so I'm not sure how that's working." Cameron had now moved to the floor and Ralph was snuggled up against her.

"Hey, and you haven't? You rigged the shower." House glared at her. Chase stared at her.

"You-"

"I was hoping he'd-" she gestured to House "-forget and be the one to take the shower. And anyways, he wouldn't let me sleep unless I did it for him." She laughed as Ralph licked her face. Chase now glared at her. He was still trying to get the red out of his hair. Right now it looked like he had reddish-pink highlights.

"But there was the soda thing-"

"And I did that to you, and the look on your face was priceless. Ketchup packet – twenty cents. Soda pop with straw and lid – buck seventy. Look on House's face when he drinks ketchup – priceless." Cameron grinned. "I wonder if they're still doing the MasterCard thing... I should submit that."

_Clown – five bucks. Seeing Cameron scream like a little girl – priceless. _House grinned.

"Ya'll are crazy. I wouldn't dare try to bond with ya'll out here. No one can hear you scream." The lady grinned. "Well, I'll let Anabelle here finish the tour. Hope ya'll have a good time out here." She muttered something to herself as she exited the room.

"Sorry about Madeline." Keira consulted her watch. "Well, come on, let's go get some lunch."

-

Turns out that there were two restaurants in the small town. They were all seated at a table this time, and everyone who had been at the diner last night was at there.

"Why is everyone always where we eat?" Foreman asked.

"Everyone's like family here. Burt-" she gestured to a man in the corner "-fixes the cars around here for a good meal, Gina-" this time a woman hidden behind a newspaper "-does your hair if you'll give her a good half-hour of interesting conversation. Most everyone who lives here is from a rich family but they like the small-town feeling." Keira shrugged. "We have traditions here. Football season is spent with Chuck, watching on his TV. Baseball with Marty, golf with Marie. Everyone knows everyone. All the secrets, all the history."

"So why are you here?" Cuddy questioned.

"Me?" Keira chuckled. "Driving to New York. Got sidetracked, lost, broke, and Madeline took me in. It's hard to think about leaving now." Suddenly a waitress appeared and set the food in front of them. Everyone grinned as the looked at their meals.

-

"So after going through rehab, just to make it look like you were sorry, he still felt the same way?" Keira's eyes were wide as they all retold their favorite stories from the hospital. Nothing that interesting ever happened around here.

"Yep. And he gave a coma patient a migraine, and then decided to give himself one." Cameron added before taking a sip of her soda.

"You're kidding!"

"And then Wilson wouldn't give me my coffee and decided to yell at me instead of whispering." House grumbled.

"Wow." Keira relaxed against the chair. "Ya'll really are strange." She shook her head. "I don't know how ya'll work together."

"Oh, we manage. I just put stuff in the coffee occasionally and they're not too bad." Cameron shrugged, trying to look innocent. All the guy's eyes were on her.

"What-"

"How could you-"

Cameron and Keira shared a look before bursting out laughing.

**Soo, I've been thinking that maybe I'd give a preview of my upcoming story to see if it's any good... If you want to be put on the list of possibilities, tell me.**

**So, onto the real reason you read this. SPOILORS!!**

**First, the bad news. Chase and Cameron (cough) moved to Arizona (cough) and are working (cough) together (cough).  
**

**Now, the good news!!!! Everyone is back, and will be seen in the season. House decides to play a kind of "Survivor" with his new/future fellows, calling them only by a number he assigns. And Hugh thinks that the first two or so scripts are the best he's ever read, so I think we're in for a great premier! **

**R&R please!**


	9. The Attack of the Clowns

**This will be posted until I near the end: I've been thinking that maybe I'd give a preview of my upcoming story to see if it's any good... If you want to be put on the list of possibilities, tell me.**

**Three reviews? You're kidding me! Do I suck that much? Maybe I will make them gone for only a week… But maybe not… Today I found the old TV show I had been hunting for (Ronin not Roman) for at least three years (yup, that long), so I'm super-duper happy. And super-duper happy writers give the readers what they're really here for – oh yeah, strip poker (which I have never played and am too busy to really research)!**

**Ideas again thanks to K, M, M.A, my aunt Jodi, and of course, my beta, Mezzo Princess (who I haven't been able to reach lately). More spoilers at the end (this time they're PICS!)**

**Chapter Nine**

**The Attack of the Clowns (and Whipped Crème)**

After the men had recovered from their shock at what Cameron had said, everyone had had a pretty good time. Now it was dark, and they were all sitting outside, fire in the middle of the circle of people. Cameron had vanished into the motor home, saying she was getting supplies for s'mores. Now she had emerged from the motor home, carrying marshmallows, Fudge Strip cookies, and things to roast the marshmallows.

"So, who's ready for the best s'mores ever made?" She grinned as she put the items on a picnic table that was near the camper, grabbed a 'mallow, stuck it on the end of the stick, took two cookies, and sat back down on her chair. She extended the rod, and making sure it was perfect, hovered the marshmallow over the fire.

"Where are the gram crackers?" Foreman was over by the table, prepared to make himself one.

"We don't need any. Just take two cookies. I promise you'll like them." She flipped the marshmallow over. Soon everyone had a marshmallow and was roasting it over the fire. House was having way too much fun watching his burst into flames and fry until it popped and slid off of his rod.

"You're going to waste all of the marshmallows if you continue to do that." Cameron noted as she tried to eat her s'more without getting it all over her face. She was failing.

"And you're going to if you insist on getting it all over your face." House grinned as he saw the glob of marshmallow on her nose.

"Well-"

Cuddy wisely decided to switch topics, knowing they could go on forever. "Where did you find out to make them like this?" Cuddy asked, gesturing to her s'more.

"My mother always made them. We'd go to the lake and she'd always bring them along. It was easier than trying to remember where she put the gram crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows." She shrugged. "They're good though, aren't they?"

oXo

"Haha! Remove yet another layer." Keira winked at Chase, who was now down to his pants and socks. They were playing strip poker, with some edited rules. The girls were all one team, and the girl that one got to pick which boy had to take off a layer. Keira had been winning, so far, and had insisted on picking on Chase. So far, everyone except Chase was one layer down. Chase glared at Keira, but took his socks off.

"So, you done? Guys forfeit?" Cuddy grinned at the sulking Chase.

"Not until you are all in you're panties." House winked at the girls.

"Even if you guys are naked?" Cameron was grinning madly.

"We won't be naked." House grinned back.

"You guys sure of that?" Keira grinned before taking and shuffling the cards.

oXo

"So, still set on getting us down to our panties?" Cameron giggled. All the men were now down to their underwear. Keira had decided to humor the guys, and when they had been chosen they had removed her shirt, causing a considerable reaction of coughs and eyes averting and focusing on their cards like they were the most interesting things in the world. All the girls had grinned at the men's reaction.

"Oh, look at the time!" Foreman glanced down at his imaginary watch, right before remembering he wasn't wearing one. Everyone was laughing.

"So, what time is it?" Keira was the first to get a hold of her breathing.

"Oh, well… It's really dark out and-"

"Forfeiters. Well," Keira looked at her _real_ watch, "I suppose I should get home anyway." Keira found her shirt and pulled it over her head. She then grabbed her socks and shoes and slipped them on. Cameron and Cuddy both did the same thing.

"I am never letting you guys live this down." Cameron noted as she pulled on her last sock, trying to find her other shoe.

_But you don't know what's about to happen… _House grinned as he started to get dressed again.

oXo

Cameron yawned as she shut the light off in the bedroom and crawled into bed. She noticed that House had stolen one of her pillows and put it on his pile, she took the top one off, revealing a miniature clown grinning and holding a cane like he was about to kill her. There was a small penlight that illuminated his face, making everything that much eerier.

"AHHHH!" Cameron screamed and rolled off the bed. "Ow!" She had landed on her butt, head just missing the nightstand. She could hear House laughing in the bathroom.

"You're going to pay!" She yelled at the door. Chase immediately rushed inside the camper: he had been outside munching on a few more cookies.

"Are you okay?" He knelt beside her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Butt's a little sore." She stood up, allowing Chase to aid her. "You're going to pay, mark my words House!" She grinned as a plan began to form in her mind.

oXo

"Cameron?" Chase groggily whispered. It was really dark now, and he had been asleep until he heard the fridge open.

"Shh!" Cameron growled at him. "I just need the whipped crème. Go back to sleep."

"Why do you need the whipped crème?" Lots of thoughts Chase didn't want to be thinking came into his mind.

"Payback." She shut the door, tiptoed back into the room and flipped on the penlight that had been used against her before. She stuck it in her mouth and shook the container. She uncapped it, and making sure to not hit House in the face with the light, covered his hand with the whipped crème. She grinned, snuck the whipped crème back into the fridge, and grabbed the feather duster from the hall closet. Taking the duster, she gently brushed over House's face with it, and got the exact reaction she wanted. His hand went up as if to swat the duster away, but she moved fast and he ended up getting his face covered with whipped crème. Cameron did everything she could do to not blow her cover as she snapped a picture of House, all covered with whipped crème. The flash woke him up, and he blinked a couple of times, not sure what was going on.

"What the-" He realized what had happened. "You're going to pay! Just wait."

"Oh, I will. But for right now you have to get whipped crème off of your face." Cameron grinned. _Revenge was sweet, especially when it's whipped crème._

**So you guys really owe that chapter to a lot of movies (had a favorite-movie-marathon), and to **ajcookroxmysox, Boys Don't Cry**, and** ShipperCrazed – FanFicCrazy

**But you really don't care, do you? No, because I have pics of season four!**

**www. Houseisright . com/2007/07/27/house-first-season-4-spoiler-photos/**

**(remove spaces)**

**Please R&R! I've never begged for this story, but I'm prepared to know!**

**(And threaten… MWAHAHA!)**


	10. Caveman and Power Issues

**HUGH LAURIE IS UP FOR AN EMMY! (grins)**

**Yes, yes, I stole this from Angel (not all the lines, but the main idea) , but let's just say that one of them (don't care who) watches it and somehow it managed to be brought into conversation. Mmkay? And there may be a lack of updates, because there's a rumor going around that Keenan (yes, the same one who scared me countless times with his suicidal clown) might stay with us (his mom needs to go to the hospital and my mom offered for him to stay here), and I will probably be sulking off in a corner hoping he doesn't scare me again (sob). But here's another chapter (and we're only on day four of the trip, so this may turn out to be really long, and that may result in only one week). Any ideas you want to see in here, just tell me and they might get in! And this was a pain to write, so I hope it's not horrible. And I don't have any more spoilers, 'cept that Emma Thompson really wants to be in an episode of House.**

**Thanks to saz86 for the confidence boost, Marissa for the idea of Keira, North Dakota for the idea at the end, and all of you who reviewed! And what Keira does is what most of us here would do... So maybe it's just ND logic.**

**Chapter Ten **

**Caveman and Power Issues **

"Cavemen."

"They're idiots! Astronauts are _smart_! They would easily win!"

"But they're wimpy smart. Cavemen are brutal."

"They are not 'wimpy smart'! Astronauts aren't wimpy!"

"I mean they're smart in other ways, like driving a spaceship. But that knowledge wouldn't be worth anything when they're against cavemen." Cameron glared at House. They were all eating breakfast, Cameron sitting directly in front of House. Everyone else was just quietly observing them, knowing that neither one would like it much if anyone else butted in.

"How can you possibly think that cavemen would win against astronauts?" House couldn't believe that Cameron would think that cavemen would beat astronauts in a fight.

"It's not that hard, really-" Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and Chase eagerly hopped up to answer it.

"'Mornin'! Hope I'm not too early." Keira grinned at Chase, who blushed as he suddenly remembered last night.

"No, perfect timing! Come right in!" He stepped aside as Keira walked up the stairs into the motor home.

"What's going on?" Keira glanced at House and Cameron. Suddenly both of their heads turned to Keira.

"If cavemen and astronauts got into a fight, who would win?" House was the first to ask.

"Are any of them armed?"

"No." Cameron replied.

Keira looked over at Chase. "How long have they been fighting over this?"

"Ten minutes." Cuddy interjected, looking at her watch.

"Oh… Uh… Cavemen?"

"Ha! Told you so!" Cameron grinned at House.

"She just said that because you two are friends!"

"Nope! She said it because she knew I was right!"

"Well," Chase looked at Keira, "may as well make yourself comfy. This could go on for a while."

oXo

Finally, they were all out of the motor home, and sitting at a coffee shop. House and Cameron were still going at the "Cavemen vs. Astronauts" thing, but not as much as before.

"Remind me why we have to 'bond' way out here in the boondocks?" Foreman asked, smiling as his coffee arrived in front of him.

"I didn't choose this place. And you shouldn't be complaining. I would have had to fire two of you otherwise." Cuddy said matter-of-factly.

Cameron grinned as her iced chocolate-peanut butter iced coffee, appropriately topped with whipped crème. "Want some?" She looked over at House, who only glared his answer.

"Which ones would you have fired?" Chase looked at Cuddy. Everyone else's attention was on her now, too.

She took a sip of her coffee before answering. "All of you."

"What?" Cameron stared at her.

"Well, I have no reason to only fire two, and I couldn't choose between you three, so I would have fired you all."

"Well that makes me feel really safe." Cameron took a sip of her drink. Suddenly it started raining – _hard_.

"So we are getting that storm..." Keira stared at the poring rain. You could barely see the buildings on the other side of the road. There were murmurs of "my lord" and "it's really comin' down" around the small coffee shop/thrift store.

"We should probably get back to the motor home... We could be stuck here for a while." Chase's was staring at the rain, too.

"Good idea." Keira stood up, walking over to Madeline to pay for the drinks and beg for an umbrella. Moments later she returned with three. Everyone stood up as lighting illuminated the sky and not five seconds later thunder shook the building.

"Come on. We'll be better of there than here. This place has been hit by lightning ten times in the last year. And we're totally safe walking. There ain't any trees." Keira handed out the umbrellas. "You're going to have to share." They all walked out of the building, standing under the overhang as they opened their umbrellas.

"Great. Now my shoes will be ruined." Cuddy mumbled from ahead. She and Keira were sharing an umbrella, Chase and Foreman had decided that it would be best to not be stuck with House, so that left Cameron and House at the end of the pack.

oXo

"Why are we just standing here?" Cameron asked as she and House arrived at the motor home. They were only a few seconds behind the rest of the group, but no one had opened the door.

"House has the key." Cuddy looked at House.

"No I don't. You've had it every other time. Why would I have it now?"

"So you don't have the key?" Cuddy's eyes grew wide.

"No. Do you?"

"No."

"Please tell me that someone here has a key?" Cameron begged. Everyone shook their heads. A streak of lighting was followed closely by a loud clap of thunder. She stepped out from under the umbrella and walked to the door, pulling on the latch and grinning as the door opened. She walked in, glad that they weren't stuck outside.

oXo

"It doesn't look like this is gonna let up for a few more hours, folks! There is a possibility of golf-ball size hail over in Garder county, along with flash flooding and possble tornadoes. Remember to stay inside and move to a basement, if you can. Along the border of Garder and Halen visibility is about a mile-" Foreman clicked off the TV.

"And why are we safer out here?" Foreman looked accusingly at Keira.

"Because Madeline's doesn't have a basement, either, and she sure as hell won't give us free coffee if we get stuck in her place."

"And what about your place?"

"Trailer. Other side of town. No basement either. Not too many of us have basements here." She shrugged. "And ya'll have food here, too. My place consists of Ramen and hot dogs. Haven't been to the store lately."

"Weatherman was wrong. This might last all day." Cameron called from the bedroom. She was relaxing on the bed while she surfed the Internet. "But it looks like the hail passed us." Suddenly there was a series of _ping_s. "Or not." Cameron looked out the window. "Nope. It's here." And suddenly everything went black.

**So! There it is. Seems like I'm on a bit of a roll.**

**Aren't I mean, leaving you with that cliffie?**

**Well, to make it worse, I want five reviews before I update.**

**I know you can do it. Yes, _you_. Click that little button!**

**I'll even let you use :( or :) as reviews!!**

**PLEASE??**

**Oh, yeah, HUGH'S UP FOR AN EMMY!**

**And you can still get a preview of my story (well, only two more can)!**


	11. Fun in the Dark

**Thank you **_so_** much (as I can****'****t bold it I had to unbold it)!!! I think I almost passed out when I saw the response! Okay, kidding there, but THANK you so very much! I wasn****'****t planning on getting that quick of a response (like an hour and a half), and I didn****'****t have the rest of it written, so sorry it took so long! Just for that I found more spoilers (well, okay, I got them anyways but didn****'****t have to post them). But, (I****'m so very sorry, but I'll try to get a few chapters up this school year)**** as the horrid ****'****s****'**** word is coming (sorry, Edison/Jim Hill/ND humor there - the ****'****s****'**** word refers to school and snow) very soon, and I won****'****t be able to spend much time working on this anymore (weekends only). Sorry!! Next summer I****'****ll continue it, promise! Goodies at the bottom!**

**Thanks to all of you who have followed this story. Look for more of it next summer! (Or after volleyball season and hockey season.)**

**Chapter Ten**

**Fun in the Dark**

"What happened to the power?" Cuddy asked the blackness. It was dark outside, and that was hardly helping the situation. A streak of lighting lit up the room before vanishing. She could make out Foreman, who was sitting next to her in the booth, Chase and Keira opposite them, and House on the couch before it was gone. Cameron was back in the bedroom, typing away on her computer after she had changed her clothes.

"It went out." House said before the thunder made itself noticeable.

"Okay, but why?"

"Because God hates us. Or loves us, depending on how you take it. Or there might not be a God and it could be karma-"

"Alright, I get it. But what are we going to do about it?"

"How come Cameron still has power?" Chase was looking at the bright light emitting from her computer.

"It's called a battery." House rolled his eyes.

"Oh. Right. We could use that as a light!"

"No way! You are not using my precious laptop for a light! I'm turning it off anyway, and none of you know my password." Suddenly the light was off, and now the whole place was black.

"Is it my name?" House ventured.

"No. It has nothing to do with anyone in here. And you're not going to be able to question it out of me." There was some shuffling, a few clunks, an "ow!" and Cameron was sitting on the couch next to -what she assumed was- Chase. She didn't know how close she was sitting to "Chase," either.

"Hello." House's husky voice whispered in her ear, causing her to yelp and fall onto the floor, which resulted in her hitting Chase's foot, which then resulted in his hand slapping Keira in the face.

"Ow!" Keira glared at the shape she knew was Chase. "You've got some strange reflexes." She rubbed her nose. "Someone falling on his foot involves him hitting me in the face." Keira mumbled under her breath.

"Oh, sorry!" Chase tried to turn around, but in the darkness his idea of space was a little messed up and he ended up with his face very close to Keira's.

"Hi." She said very calmly, but if there was any light they would have seen she was grinning.

"Oh!" Chase quickly pulled backwards.

"If anyone falls on my foot..." Foreman threatened.

"As great as that sounds, I think I'll try and stay off the floor from now on." Another flash of lightning showed Cameron sitting back on the couch, a whole cushion separating her from House.

"So what are we going to do in the dark? For who knows how many hours?" Cuddy asked.

"Well, I have some ideas-" House grinned.

"I think I'll pass." Cameron quickly cut in.

"What? Why? They could be really fun-"

"I don't trust you in the dark."

"So the duckling who does everything I tell her to doesn't trust me in the dark?"

"I don't do everything you tell me to, and no, I don't trust you in the dark. After what happened last night-"

"What happened last night?" Keira's eyes were wide, but no one could tell.

"He scared me with a clown. In the dark. On my pillow." Cameron glared at the area she thought was House.

"Oh." Keira didn't know whether she should be disappointed or relieved.

"And then she whipped-crèmed me." House mumbled.

"What?" Keira stared at them as lightning streaked the sky and was followed a moment later by thunder.

"I just put it on your hand, you smeared it all over your face." Cameron giggled, remembering the look on his face when he realized what had happened.

"So that's why you wanted the whipped crème last night?" Chase asked as lighting flashed through the sky.

"Yeah. Why did you think- oh. Oh! You have a twisted mind, Chase!" Cameron's face was red hot, and she was very thankful that lightning hadn't struck at that moment. There was another clap of thunder.

"Well, it was late, dark, and you were digging through the fridge for whipped crème. I fell asleep before anything else happened..." Chase mumbled.

"Okay, can we talk about something else now?" Foreman smartly interjected.

"But this is fun!" Keira exclaimed. She was one of the three people under the age of thirty in town, and was always starved for interesting gossip besides "Lee's in the hospital because he ate a piece of bad chicken" and stuff along those lines. There was another flash of lighting and a clap of thunder. It was still hailing, though it was still only pea-sized.

"So, what are we going to do until the power comes back on?" Cuddy asked.

"I know." Keira grinned evilly. Suddenly Cuddy's cell phone rang.

"Hello?" She quickly answered. "Oh, okay… No… Yes, we're doing fine… Oh! Really? Okay, then." She hung up the phone right as lightning flashed. She waited a moment for the thunder to come.

"We're only staying for a week." Cuddy addressed the team.

"Really? Why?" Foreman asked.

"They said that they realized no one could survive more than a week of House. And I think they're having problems keeping that place up and running while I'm gone."

"So you guys are only here for three more days?" Keira asked. "Well, we have a lot of stuff to do before ya'll leave!" She grinned. "This would be a lot easier if you could stay for another week, but I'll make do. First there's the fair, and sidewalk shop day, to start out with! We have a lot to get done in a little amount of time… Now if this stupid storm would only let up!" Keira exclaimed as lighting reappeared. "I can't wait!"

**So, there it is! I don****'****t like it very much, but filler is filler. **

**Again, I promise I****'ll try to pum****p out a few more chapters before the summer!**

**R&R please!**

**And now to the good stuff:**

**www .tvsquad. com/2007/08/01/spoilers-anonymous/**

**Bye for now, but you will be hearing from me again soon!**


	12. Welcome to the Fair!

**No, we're not missing a chapter. This _is _the next chapter. I was really stuck with the blackout. We've advanced a day. I'll fill it in later, okay?**

**Mezzo Princess, I would really be lost without you. I'm not kidding. Sorry I didn't let you preread this... But I wanted to get something up for the holiday!**

**Mickie, Tanner, Braxton, here's to you. Thanks for unknowingly inspiring me. **

**Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate it!**

* * *

**Fair terminology:**

**Elephant ears: **deep-fried corn tortillas usually topped with powdered sugar.

**The Drop Zone: **a ride that takes you straight up about a story, and then suddenly drops you.

**Dippin' Dots: **this delicious ice cream treat made up of tiny dots of ice cream.

* * *

"Why are we here again?" House complained as he finished up the last of his blue-and-pink cotton candy. He thought being stuck in the motor home with these guys was bad enough, but this was worse. 

"We are here because it's fun and Keira wanted to take us there, okay? Now enjoy yourself. It's really fun." Cameron grinned as she took in all the rides and funhouses. She had always loved the fair, with all the happy people taking a break and just having fun.

"Really fun my-"

"Oh, my, God. It's back!" Keira exclaimed as she saw the infamous Drop Zone. She _loved_ that ride. "We have to go on! Come on! There's hardly a line!" She grinned as she ran up to the line of two people.

"No. Way." Foreman looked up at the huge tower. There was _no_ way he would ever go on that thing.

"Aw, come on! It's fun!" Cameron exclaimed as she, too, got in line. Chase, for lack of anything better to do, followed, along with Cuddy. That left only House and Foreman standing off to the side.

"What, scared you'll pee your pants?" House smirked at Chase.

"No… I just don't like heights."

"Poor little Foreman. Scared of heights…" House grinned evilly as he got in line.

"I am not scared!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am _not_!"

"Then get in line!"

"Fine!" Foreman realized too late that he had agreed to go on the ride. _Crap_. He dutifully got in the line behind the rest of the group. He could hear House snicker from in front of him. Quickly the man working the machine marked off their wristbands, and they all got on. House was forced to leave his cane by the gate, but he managed the few steps onto his seat. Pulling the chest restraints down, they all waited for the ride to begin.

Slowly, the seats creeped up the tower, stopping about halfway there before starting again even slower. Soon they were at the top, and Forman was getting a little freaked out by the fact he could see _every_ ride from his vantage point in the sky. They waited. A minute passed. And then suddenly, they fell. Straight down - everyone on the ride screamed. Even Chase, with his girly scream. Suddenly, it came to a complete stop, about three feet from the ground. Everyone chuckled nervously, hoping that they weren't going to be dropped the rest of the way. Thankfully, it slowly descended until it was back at the place it was before, and the restraints slowly released themselves. House was grinning like a little kid as he hopped off, and Foreman looked like he was having troubles breathing.

"How was the ride, Foreman?" House smirked.

"Wonderful." The sarcasm was heavy in his voice. He looked like he might throw up.

"Whoa, you don't look so good." Keira observed as she saw Foreman. "Maybe we should get some food… That might help." Foreman nodded. "Alright, what do we want? There are the classic elephant ears, the Dippin' Dots, the foot-long corndogs…"

"I say we just go and see what they all have." Cuddy suggested.

"Good idea… Foreman, do you want to go to the bathroom or something first?" Keira asked.

"No thanks… I'll be fine." He replied as they started to follow the enticing aroma of fair food.

oXo

"Cuddy, we _need_ these in the cafeteria." Cameron exclaimed as she took another bite of her elephant ear. They had all gotten their food and were now huddled around a table, enjoying their finds. House, of course, had gotten the foot-long corndog, topped extensively with ketchup and mustard. He was about halfway done.

"Frankly, we need anything _besides_ what we have in the cafeteria." Chase observed, finishing off his regular hot dog.

"The Rubens apparently aren't too bad." Cuddy mused, shooting a glance at House.

"No, but I have had better." He replied between mouthfuls.

"So, where are we headed next?" Cameron asked while getting powdered sugar all over her face. Grabbing a napkin, she attempted to get it off.

"Well, I do want to check out some of the exhibits and jewelry and stuff… Maybe that wouldn't be too bad of an idea because Foreman still doesn't look so good… What do ya'll think?" Keira asked the group.

"But, the rides! I can hear them calling me!" House whimpered, finishing off his hotdog.

"Okay, we'll do it this way then. Whoever wants to go with House to go on more rides is free to go with him. Anyone else can come with us." Cameron decided for the group.

"Sounds fine with me." Chase agreed.

"So, who's with me?" House asked as he took a final sip of his soda. The rest of the group shared a _look_, all of them thinking it probably wouldn't be in their best interests to have to follow House around the fair. Who knows what rides they'd be forced on.

"Was I speaking in Chinese or something? Who wants to come with me?" House said slowly, eyeing everyone.

"Well, I'm going with the girls." Cuddy answered.

"I think I will too… Maybe I can find some Dippin' Dots." Chase added.

"You'd have to pay me to go with you." Foreman replied.

"So I'm all _alone_? Perfect – you guys are to scared to go on some of the rides, anyways." House said, hoping to get a rise out of someone. He didn't want to be stuck wandering the fair alone, but he wasn't about to go and look at the booths. It failed.

"How about we meet back here about two – that's an hour and a half. Sound alright?" Keira asked. Everyone nodded.

"Alright then, let's go." Cameron stood up and grabbed the tray filled with the wrappers and such from their meal. "House, try not to kill yourself, okay?"

"Or try… Whichever one you think would be more fun." Foreman mumbled, still upset about the ride.

"Scardy cats." House replied as he walked of to find a ride. _Let's see… Should I do the roller coaster first? I think I will._ He grinned mischievously.

* * *

**R&R please... I'm working on getting one out on Christmas!**


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